Is polyamory a good idea or a trainwreck waiting to happen? Is it even biblical? We discuss open marriages with our Heretic of the Week, Chuck McKnight, in what may be our most controversial episode yet!
- 00:20 – Introduction and show sponsor The Hope Center.
- 03:04 – Voicemail about mental health and medication shaming.
- 09:07 – Text about Jamal moaning.
- 10:14 – Text about church and sexual repression before marriage. What is a healthy expression for sexuality?
- 12:48 – Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch.
- 15:20 – Masturbation.
- 16:10 – Taking shame out of sexuality.
- 18:33 – Heretic of the week, Chuck McKnight.
- 19:13 – Why Chuck is considered a heretic. Denying Biblical inerrancy, penal substitutionary atonement, and eternal conscious torment.
- 21:45 – Annihilationism.
- 23:12 – Employers and statements of faith.
- 26:48 – Chuck’s affirmation of Christians and polyamory.
- 28:33 – Chuck’s background with his open marriage.
- 29:59 – Love as a guiding ethical principle.
- 31:03 – Common misunderstandings of polyamory.
- 34:19 – The Bible and polyamory.
- 35:32 – Patriarchal polygamy and modern polyamory.
- 37:57 – Primary and secondary relationships.
- 39:40 – Jealousy.
- 42:03 – Positive elements in polyamory.
- 44:30 – Monogamy as a cultural concept.
- 55:34 – Accepting polyamory without affirming.
- 57:06 – LGBTQ+ affirmation.
- 1:07:49 – Concerns about polyamory.
- 1:09:40 – Expectations about marriage.
- 1:12:10 – Disagreements about monogamy and polyamory.
- 1:14:10 – Men vs. women with monogamy.
- 1:17:07 – Oneness and the uniqueness of marriage.
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LOVED hearing Chuck share his story here. A BIT more disappointed at you all's responses, as though you're unable to discern the difference between blessing the full dignity, giftedness, and humanity of another's life lived in integrity with their agreements, and you, yourself doing so. I as especially disappointed in Jamal's equivocation that polyamory is basically 'just' dudes being dudes, unable to control themselves. It's for this reason that I'm one of those closeted polyamorous Christian leaders Chuck spoke about - it's quite challenging to be 'out' when some of the most open-minded Jesus-followers in the world treat this as a dangerous fad.
To this end, I wanted to share some links with you all - of faith-based polyamorous writings from different traditions. There's a whole world of perspectives to consider, brothers. I hope you can see how considering these doesn't have to threaten your happy monogamous relationships.
Embracing the Sexual Divine: Liberating Ourselves from Sex and Body Shame - Lama Rod Owens, a queer, black, poly Buddhist with roots in the Black Christian tradition.
Incarnation Institute for Sex & Faith (UCC)
Beverly Dale (UCC pastor and polyamory advocate)
Get Ready for the Polyamory Movement - Erin Wathen (UCC)
The Still-Speaking God Can Still Say 'No'! - Kris Davies (UCC)
Jesus Loves You...and You...and You. - Rev. Katy Hyman and Rev. Elena Larssen (sermon audio - UCC. A coming-out sermon!)
What Happens When a Pastor Goes Poly? (from The Advocate - about the presiding leader of the MCC)
Christianity and Polyamory - Multiamory Podcast - Lutheran minister Austin Adkinson and theologian J.D. Mechelke interviewed on popular poly podcast
A Gospel of Quaker Sexuality (Quaker, obvs.)
Polyamory and the Holy Spirit (from a Christian professor and biblical scholar)
Even Christians Are Rethinking Monogamy - Jennifer Martin (post-Evangelical)
Attitudes to Non-Monogamy Among Bisexual Christians in the UK and USA - Discover Society
Toward a Christian Perspective on Polyamory - Jeff Hood (Mainline Baptist)
Multiplication Not Division: The Polyamorous Gospel - Jeff Hood (Mainline Baptist)
Southern Baptist Performs Polyamorous Wedding - Jeff Hood
I Hope You Have Only Good Sex - Laura N. Groen (ECLA Lutheran)
I Love God and I Love Fucking - KC Slack (UU pastor)
Unitarian Universalists for Polyamorous Awareness (UU)
Are We Born Polyamorous? - podcast (UU)
Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual Ethics in the New Testament and Their Implications for Today - Dr. William Countryman (Episcopal - hands-down the best book on sexuality and the Bible that I've ever read.)
Sex outside of marriage can be holy, according to this Christian minister - Religion News Service
Evangelical & Post-Evangelical
Polyamory & Christianity Online Workshop - Queer Theology
Is Jesus Cool with Polyamory? - Kevin Garcia
Marrying Differently: Why I Call My Polyamorous Relationships Marriage - Annie Thomas (post-Evangelical)
Love Tripled - Polyfidelity Family Blog
What's a Christian to do With...Dan Savage? - Tony Jones (Emergent)
The Pastor Blessed with More than One Wife (FB video - conservative)
Liberated Christians (nondenominational, on the theologically conservative side)
Christian Wife Swappers Preach The Word Of God Through Swinging (FB video - okay, this is pretty ridiculous, but a good cautionary tale! ; )
Alternatives to Monogamy - Humanize Me - Bart Campolo interviews Dedeker Winston; post-Christian
Drunk Bible Study - an entire chapter-by-chapter Bible podcast hosted by three polyamorous people!
Chuck McKnight's Series - progressive Anabaptist:
It’s Time for the Church to Talk About Polyamory
Conflating Polyamory, the LGBTQ Community, and Orientation
What Polyamory Is Not
Christian Sexual Ethics and Polyamory
Southern Baptist Preacher Affirms Polyamory (Interview with Rev. Dr. Jeff Hood)
Is God Polyamorous?
5 Reasons for Writing about Polyamorous Families (Guest Post by Mark Kille)
Polyamory and the Kingdom of God (by Christian Chiakulas on Radical Christian Millennial)
What Are Polyamorous Christians to Make of Karl Barth? (Guest Post)
Polygamy and the Problem of Patriarchy
Abram’s Marriage to Sarai, Hagar, Keturah & Others
Jacob’s Marriage to Leah, Rachel, Bilhah & Zilpah
The Many Marriages of David & Solomon
Other Monotheisms on Polyamory
Monogamy, Polyamory, and Beyond - Tikkun (Jewish)
The Smart Way to A Responsible Open Relationship - Reviving Herstory (Jewish)
The Loves That Dare Not Speak Their Names: The World of Polyamorous Jews (Jewish, 'natch)
Turned Off… And Turned On… By G-d (Jewish)
Polyamory & Same-Sex Marriage (Jewish)
Polyamory and Islam - Mohamed Ibrahim (and an atheist response)
America's Largest Catholic University Hosts Event Glorifying Polyamory, Open Relationships - The Christian Post
Preston Sprinkle on Polyamory (podcast) - an evangelical pacifist
Gridlock Reached As Two Men Both Certain God Told Them To Date Same Girl - Babylon Bee (Calvinist satire)
There's No Such Thing As An "Open Marriage." That's Just Adultery. - Matt Walsh
Was Karl Barth Unfaithful to His Wife Nelly, His ‘Life-Partner’? | The Wartburg Watch - an evangelical questioning of a popular 20th-century theologian